College quotes and sayings

College is the best time of your life. When else are your parents going to spend several thousand dollars a year just for you to go to a strange town and get drunk every night?
David Wood

You have four years to be irresponsible here. Relax. Work is for people with jobs. You’ll never remember class time, but you’ll remember time you wasted hanging out with your friends. So, stay out late. Go out on a Tuesday with your friends when you have a paper due Wednesday. Spend money you don’t have. Drink ’til sunrise. The work never ends, but college does…
Tom Petty

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage.
George Gobel

College is like a fountain of knowledge – and the students are there to drink.

One of the great mind destroyers of college education is the belief that if it’s very complex, it’s very profound.
Dennis Prager

It is not so very important for a person to learn facts. For that he does not really need a college. He can learn them from books. The value of an education is a liberal arts college is not learning of many facts but the training of the mind to think something that cannot be learned from textbooks.
Albert Einstein

College is a refuge from hasty judgment.
Robert Frost

You can lead a boy to college, but you cannot make him think.
Elbert Hubbard

College isn’t the place to go for ideas.
Helen Keller

A college education should equip one to entertain three things: a friend, an idea and oneself.
Thomas Ehrlich

Definition of a College professor: someone who talks in other people’s sleep.
W. H. Auden

Successful colleges will start laying plans for a new stadium; unsuccessful ones will start hunting a new coach.
Will Rogers

I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford.
Dave Barry

A college education shows a man how little other people know.
Thomas C. Haliburton

Life is my college. May I graduate well, and earn some honors!
Louisa May Alcott

Going to college offered me the chance to play football for four more years.
Ronald Reagan

I have always had the feeling I could do anything and my dad told me I could. I was in college before I found out he might be wrong.
Ann Richards

I think college administrators should encourage students to urinate on walls and bushes, because then when students from another college come sniffing around, they’ll know this is someone else’s territory.
Jack Handy

In one century we went from teaching Latin and Greek in high school to offering remedial English in college.
Joseph Sobran

A university is a college with a stadium seating over 40,000.
Leonard L. Levinson

I think everyone should go to college and get a degree and then spend six months as a bartender and six months as a cabdriver. Then they would really be educated.
Al McGuire

College is the best time of your life.

Being considerate of others will take your children further in life than any college degree.
Marian Wright

At best, most college presidents are running something that is somewhere between a faltering corporation and a hotel.
Leon Botstein

College football is a sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture.
Elbert Hubbard

Standardization is the fertilizer of college education. A little may be useful, but flowers do not grow in pure manure.
Martin H. Fischer

No man should escape our colleges without knowing how little he knows.
J. Robert Oppenheimer

Fathers send their sons to college either because they went to college or they didn’t.
L.L. Hendren

It was like a heart transplant. We tried to implant college in him but his head rejected it.
Barry Switzer

Americans are the only people in the world known to me whose status anxiety prompts them to advertise their college and university affiliations in the rear window of their automobiles”
Paul Fussell

I never graduated from Iowa, but I was only there for two terms – Truman’s and Eisenhower’s.
Alex Karras

A thorough knowledge of the Bible is worth more than a college education.
Theodore Roosevelt

The new appears as a minority point of view, and hence is unpopular. The function of a university is to give it a sanctuary.
Martin H. Fischer

It’s not your blue blood, your pedigree or your college degree. It’s what you do with your life that counts.
Millard Fuller

I learned three important things in college – to use a library, to memorize quickly and visually, to drop asleep at any time given a horizontal surface and fifteen minutes.
Agnes DeMille

If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.
Frank Zappa

Does college pay? They do if you are a good open-field runner.
Will Rogers

Earnestness is stupidity sent to college.
P. J. O’Rourke

A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in the students.
John Ciardi

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
Mark Twain

Life is my college.

At college age, you can tell who is best at taking tests and going to school, but you can’t tell who the best people are. That worries the hell out of me.
Barnaby C. Keeney

Don’t ever dare to take your college as a matter of course – because, like democracy and freedom, many people you’ll never know have broken their hearts to get it for you.
Alice Miller

I am often amazed at how much more capability and enthusiasm for science there is among elementary school youngsters than among college students.
Dr. Carl Sagan

That’s it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I’m going to clown college!
Dan Castellaneta

The average Ph.D. thesis is nothing but a transference of bones from one graveyard to another.
J. Frank Dobie

College football is a sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture.
Elbert Hubbard

Of course there’s a lot of knowledge in colleges, the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don’t take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates.
Abbott Lawrence Lowell

An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.
Ambrose Bierce

A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn’t answer the phone.
Craig Kilborn

Quiet you kids. If I hear one more word, Bart doesn’t get to watch cartoons, and Lisa doesn’t get to go to college.
Dan Castellaneta

Never get married in college; it’s hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you’ve already made one mistake.
Elbert Hubbard

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a college education, he may steal the whole railroad.
Theodore Roosevelt

Everybody can be great because anybody can serve. You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. You don’t have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

If you have a college degree you can be absolutely sure of one thing… you have a college degree.

Talk may be cheap but intelligent conversation is very expensive these days. Ask anyone with a kid in college.

If our colleges and universities do not breed men who riot, who rebel, who attack life with all the youthful vim and vigor, then there is something wrong with our colleges. The more riots that come on college campuses, the better world for tomorrow.
William Allen White

Education is a private matter between the person and the world of knowledge and experience, and has little to do with school or college.
Lillian Smith

The most conservative persons I ever met are college undergraduates. The radicals are the men past middle life.
Woodrow T. Wilson

Some people unable to go to school were more educated and even more intelligent than college professors.
Maya Angelou