Doctor quotes and sayings

A doctor is a man licensed to make grave mistakes.
Leonard Louis Levinson

A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard.
English Proverb

God heals, and the doctor takes the fee.

The presence of the doctor is the beginning of the cure.

More quotes

No man is a good physician who has never been sick.

No doctor takes pleasure in the health even of his friends.
Michel de Montaigne

Doctors and undertakers Fear epidemics of good health.
Gerald Barzan

Foolish the doctor who despises the knowledge acquired by the ancients.

Physicians, like beer, are best when they are old.
Thomas Fuller

Every physician must be rich in knowledge, and not only of that which is written in books; his patients should be his book, they will never mislead him.

After all, a doctor is just to put your mind at rest.

English physicians kill you, the French let you die.
William Lamb, Lord Melbourne

Physicians are like kings, – they brook no contradiction.
John Webster

A physician is nothing but a consoler of the mind.
Petronius Arbiter

Doctors are generally dull dogs.
John Wilson

Every patient is a doctor after his cure.
Irish Proverb

Physicians’ faults are covered with earth, and rich men’s with money.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
Erma Bombeck

That physician will hardly be thought very careful of the health of others who neglects his own.

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
Henry Youngman

The doctors are always changing their opinions. They always have some new fad.
David Lloyd George

Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you, too.
Anton Chekhov

The blunders of a doctor are felt not by himself but by others.

He had surrendered all reality, all dread and fear, to the doctor beside him, as people do.
William Faulkner

The most tragic thing in the world is a sick doctor.
George Bernard Shaw

The skilful doctor treats those who are well but the inferior doctor treats those who are ill.
Ch’in Yueh-jen

In illness the physician is a father; in convalescence a friend; when health is restored, he is a guardian.

Fifty years ago the successful doctor was said to need three things; a top hat to give him Authority, a paunch to give him Dignity, and piles to give him an Anxious Expression.

Apollo was held the god of physic and sender of disease. Both were originally the same trade, and still continue.
Jonathan Swift

But a doctor who has gone into lonely and discouraged homes, where there was fear for the sick, and no one else at hand to administer remedy, and give hope, can really say, ‘I amount to something. I’m worth while.’
Carlton K. Matson

The physicians are the natural attorneys of the poor and the social problems should largely be solved by them.
Rudolf Virchow

The most dangerous physicians are those who can act in perfect mimicry of the born physician.
Friedrich Nietzsche

One must not count upon all of his patients being willing to steal in order to pay doctor’s bills.
Robert Tuttle Morris

A physician who is a lover of wisdom is the equal to a god.

The doctors allow one to die, the charlatans kill.
Jean de La Bruyere

The physician cannot prescribe by letter the proper time for teating or bathing; he must feel the pulse.

He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients, no, three, I think – yes, it was three; I attended their funerals.
Mark Twain

Beware of the young doctor and the old barber.
Benjamin Franklin

Don’t misinform your Doctor nor your Lawyer.
Benjamin Franklin

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine.
William Osler

The blunders of a doctor are felt not by himself but by others.

One physician cures you of the colic; two physicians cure you of the medicine.

Doctor, my leg hurts. What can I do? The doctor says “Limp!”
Henny Youngman

When a doctor does go wrong he is the first of criminals. He has nerve and he has knowledge.
Arthur Conan Doyle

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession.
Martin H. Fischer

If the clinician, as observer, wishes to see things as they really are, he must make a tabula rasa of his mind and proceed without any preconceived notions whatever.
Jean Martin Charcot

I am dying with the help of too many physicians.
Alexander the Great

Whenever a doctor cannot do good, he must be kept from doing harm.

While doctors consult, the patient dies.

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn’t pay the bill he gave me six months more.
Walter Matthau

A fashionable surgeon like a pelican can be recognized by the size of his bill.
J. Chalmers Da Costa

Doctors are mostly impostors. The older a doctor is and the more venerated he is, the more he must pretend to know everything. Of course, they grow worse with time. Always look for a doctor who is hated by the best doctors. Always seek out a bright young doctor before he comes down with nonsense.
Thornton Wilder

A physician who treats himself has a fool for a patient.
William Osler

There is not a doctor who desires the health of his friends; not a soldier who desires the peace of his country.

Life in itself is short enough, but the physicians with their art, know to their amusement, how to make it still shorter.

Our doctor would never really operate unless it was necessary. He was just that way. If he didn’t need the money, he wouldn’t lay a hand on you.
Herb Shriner

It is incident to physicians, I am afraid, beyond all other men, to mistake subsequence for consequence.
Samuel Johnson

It is so hard that one cannot really have confidence in doctors and yet cannot do without them.

An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away.
Mae West

It is a distinct art to talk medicine in the language of the non-medical man.
Edward H. Goodman