Gambling quotes and sayings

He was so honest you could play craps with him over the phone.
Earl Wilson

Sir, I do not call a gamester a dishonest man; but I call him an unsociable man, an unprofitable man. Gaming is a mode of transferring property without producing any intermediate good.
Samuel Johnson

Why otherwise would that dignified fellow dressed like a banker be sitting at a machine murmuring.

If you are a guy, you know you play too much poker if your wet dreams involve “nuts” instead of breasts.
Breakeven Player

I know a little bit about handicapping. If the horse has an IV, you want to stay — away from it.
Paula Poundstone

In the fight between you and the world, bet on the world.
Frank Zappa

Luck affects everything; let your hook always be cast. In the stream where you least expect it, there will be fish.

Men are probably nearer the central truth in their superstitions than in their science.
Henry David Thoreau

In all endeavors, in all aspects of life, there are more horses’ asses than horses!
Frank Scoblete

There’s opportunity in poker…. If Horace Greeley were alive today, his advice wouldn’t be “Go West, young man, and grow up with the country.” Instead, he’d point to that deck of cards on table and say, “Shuffle up and deal.
Lou Krieger

Most of the time common stocks are subject to irrational and excessive price fluctuations in both directions as the consequence of the ingrained tendency of most people to speculate or gamble… to give way to hope, fear and greed.
Ben Graham

Everybody today knows what I learned back then because it’s in all the poker books. But nobody knew the right way to play back in those days.
Doyle Brunson

The moron will enter the single deck game when the count is sky high and the dealer is deciding whether or not to shuffle. The morons’s entrance will convince the dealer that it’s time to shuffle. You will now face a new deck with your biggest bet out and the pit boss watching closely.
Frank Scoblete

A Texas man reports he had terrible luck in Las Vegas. He lost everything he had but his cold.

I’ve often thought, if I got really hungry for a good milk shake, how much would I pay for one? People will pay a hundred dollars for a bottle of wine; to me that’s not worth it. But I’m not going to say it is foolish or wrong to spend that kind of money, if that’s what you want. So if a guy wants to bet twenty or thirty thousand dollars in a poker game, that is his privilege.
Jack Binion

Drunks are rarely amusing unless they know some good songs and lose a lot at poker.
Karl Roosevelt

You do not really make money in the stock market. You merely take it from somebody who guessed wrong.


Every prosperous person who does not work has a creative scheme that does.
John Otway

In Louisiana, we don’t bet on football games, we bet on whether a politician is going to be indicted or not.
Mark Duffy

I love Vegas. God knows that I know how to find my way around the buffets in Las Vegas.
Rick Majerus

There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.
Mark Twain

If it weren’t for betting on horses, some people wouldn’t contribute to anything.

The young people of the United States squander over ten billion dollars a year on games of chance. This does not include weddings, starting a business, passing cars on a hill, or buying a television set.

Gaming corrupts our disposition and teaches us a habit of hostility against all mankind.
Thomas Jefferson

They gambled in the Garden of Eden, and they will again if there’s another one.
Richard Albert Canfield

The dumbest criminal on earth is the one who would hold up a group of tourists on their way home from Las Vegas after their first encounter with casinos.

Science and technology, like all original creations of the human spirit, are unpredictable. If we had a reliable way to label our toys good and bad, it would be easy to regulate technology wisely. But we can rarely see far enough ahead to know which road leads to damnation. Whoever concerns himself with big technology, either top us hit forward or to stop it, is gambling in human lives.
Freeman John Dyson

We got an education when in 1992 Wolfgang Puck opened Spago in the Forum Shops in Caesars Palace and proved to us that people will line up to get good food.
Steve Wynn

And there’s the World Series of Poker, known as the last American Gold Rush. In the 2005 tourney, more than 5,600 players competed for the top prize of $7.5 million.
Richard Roeper

Poker reveals to the frank observer something else of import—it will teach him about his own nature. Many bad players do not improve because the cannot bear self-knowledge.
David Mamet

Gambling is like diving into an empty swimming pool. The chances that you’ll hit bottom are about the same.

Luck never gives; it only lends.
Swedish Proverb

Gambling is frequently a means of getting nothing for your money.

The greatest advantage in gambling lies in not playing at all.
Girolamo Cardano

Gambling with cards or dice or stocks is all one thing. It’s getting money without giving an equivalent for it.
Henry Ward Beecher

Another great evil arising from this desire to be thought rich; or rather, from the desire not to be thought poor, is the destructive thing which has been honored by the name of “speculation”; but which ought to be called Gambling.
William Cobbett

The best throw of the dice is to throw them away.
English proverb

Nine gamblers could not feed a single rooster.
Yugoslav proverb

People who can afford to gamble don’t need money, and those who need money can’t afford to gamble.

There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one.
Jack Yelton

In most betting shops you will see three windows marked “Bet Here,” but only one window with the legend “Pay Out.”
Jeffrey Bernard

Eat your betting money but don’t bet your eating money.
Horseracing proverb

Guessing has never been widely acclaimed as a good gambling strategy.
Dr. G

Give up gambling. It’s wrong… especially if you lose money.
101 Dalmatians (The Series)

There are three roads to ruin; women, gambling and technicians. The most pleasant is with women, the quickest is with gambling, but the surest is with technicians.
Georges Pompidou

Don’t gamble the rent money or you’ll land up sleeping on the park bench.
Capt. Summer Fun

When your opponent’s sittin’ there holdin’ all the aces, there’s only one thing to do: kick over the table.
Dean Martin

The gambler is a moral suicide.
Charles Caleb Colton

Someone once asked me why women don’t gamble as much as men do, and I gave the common-sensical reply that we don’t have as much money. That was a true but incomplete answer. In fact, women’s total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.
Gloria Steinem

If you must play, decide upon three things at the start: the rules of the game, the stakes, and the quitting time.
Chinese Proverb

How to win at gambling: Lay off for a few weeks, and then quit for good.

Gambling is not as destructive as war or as boring as pornography. It is not as immoral as business or as suicidal as watching television. And the percentages are better than religion.
Mario Puzo

I agree that gambling is anti-social, but at least it keeps people away from television.

If all gambling were illegal, we would all have to stop driving cars and getting married.

The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.
Kin Hubbard

If you’re playing a poker game and you look around the table and can’t tell who the sucker is, it’s you.
Paul Newman

Gambling is like drinking, it’s addictive.

It can be argued that man’s instinct to gamble is the only reason he is still not a monkey up in the trees.
Mario Puzo

Last year people won more than one billion dollars playing poker. And casinos made twenty-seven billion just by being around those people.
Samantha Bee

The smarter you play, the luckier you’ll be.
Mark Pilarski